Battin Drops Effort to Stop Global Warming

Annual Temperature Declines and Fuzzy Science don’t Merit Major Change to Society

Demands Refund for Aviator Carbon Credit

Senator Jim Battin (R- La Quinta) dropped legislation today that would encourage every owner of a polluting, fuel sucking car to buy their way into a “carbon neutral” lifestyle to stop global warming. SB 1374 would have allowed car owners who purchase carbon credits that offset the carbon dioxide emissions of their vehicles to participate in the Clean Air – High Occupancy Vehicle (HOV) decal program, allowing the driver to use an HOV lane.

Battin saw SB 1374 as a perfect opportunity to jump start the state’s effort to single-handedly stop the fractionally small rise in global temperature. Unfortunately, the Senate Transportation Committee did not share Battin’s optimism. Perhaps it was a recent BBC News article published on April 4, 2008 that read, “Global temperatures to decrease”, which has the Committee questioning the State’s future global warming efforts.

Battin himself decided to go “carbon neutral” immediately after he was scolded by the Contra Costa Times’ article that read, “Lawmakers’ flashy, fuel-sucking cars on road at the expense of taxpayers”. “I was embarrassingly caught using excess energy. The only thing I could do was take action,” Battin declared. “I couldn’t think of a better way to become a true champion of the environment than by going “carbon neutral” with my car. Carbon credits allow environmentalists like Al Gore to feel good about themselves without having to engage in the sacrifices asked of average consumers. Sounded good to me,” said Battin.

Battin immediately purchased a $45 DriveNeutral Certificate which simply states that his CO2 emissions have been offset for one year. However, due to the Committee’s lack of enthusiasm for SB 1374, Battin is now questioning the validity of the carbon offset program and is looking into a refund for his Aviator’s carbon credit.

Battin stated, “I don’t want to say I feel cheated by the promise of saving the planet, but OK I feel cheated. I purchased this credit to do something about climate change.” With the Committee’s lackluster response, and recent press coverage pointing towards a looming global cooling crisis, Battin believes the “global warming” alarm is likely overheated.